Let me keep it real with ya...There was really no transition I just woke up one morning and got tired and said it's time. Some things you just can't plan. You may ask why I made this decision after 7+ years of being natural. I never thought this day would come. I'm sure you're wondering what I'm talking about right now.... For years I said I would never go back to relaxers and it was not for me. When I said that at that time I was being honest. Relaxers wasn't for me at that time. But I learned over the years to never say "never". The thing I said I would never do I ended up doing.
So why I did it? When I went natural I transitioned into the natural lifestyle I knew why I was doing it. It was for the health of my hair. My hair was never "unhealthy" but I wanted the more holistic approach for my hair at that time and I was able to manage it and allow it to grow. I've big chopped my hair 4 times since my first cut. But that moment when natural hair became only a "TITLE" that's when I realize it was no longer for me. My hair stayed under wigs constantly. No one hardly seen my hair. That phase between 29-30 I started to notice my hair has been the unhealthiest its ever been and when it becomes a burden rather then something that you love while seeing results that's when it's time to change.
I can say so many people had much to say concerning my hair type and what it should be but then I realize its not about them but it's about myself and if I'll be able to love my hair and manage my hair better. At the end of the day it's my hair. I then realize that it was time for a change. That's how you know. I started to weigh in on the two and why I was doing what I was doing. Sometimes it can be overwhelming, you may become emotional, confused. But you really have to come to grip and be real with yourself. Go to the root of the matter. That's when I realize the only reason I remained natural was for the title. It didn't start off that way but it ended up that way. The health of my hair was of no concern anymore when I was natural. I didn't care to detangle it, or wear it out, or shampoo it, condition and moisturize it. My hair was dying because I wasn't taking care of it. When I mentioned on fb that I was thinking about relaxing my hair (WRONG DECISION) not that it moved me because you see I'm relaxed. But if you're wanting to make a decision and you are on the fence and confused the worst thing you can do is go to fb or anyone else because that's just going to add more confusion on top of your confusion. But back to what I was saying I took my thoughts to fb and there were some that supported me and then there was the group that tried to convince me to weigh it out and remain natural. They told me to do this and that with my hair and said that I could do it and that it was easy. But was it really that simple? If it was I would have been doing it right? I think at least for me the comments on fb really made me think. So within the week I took time out for the first time since my last big chop to detangle and moisturize my hair. And made an appointment with a hairstylist that does my moms hair which was the day after Thanksgiving.
It was scary because I was leaving a lifestyle that I thought I would have forever. It was painful PHYSICALLY lol. Let me tell you I'm tender headed but when you are going natural back to relaxers omg THE PAIN! At least for me...I can't speak for everyone else. It's not a burning pain because I wasn't burning but to get through my hair and apply the product evenly for the relaxer to take it was extreme torture. But I think everyones experience is different but for me it was major torture. When I thought I detangled my hair I wanted to beat myself up because I didn't detangle it well. No fault on the stylist I'm just extremely tender headed even with relax hair.
But the results of my hair far out weighs the pain. Beauty is many times pain. There are some things I would like to share if you're planning on transitioning back from natural to relax. If you're on the fence and scared here is what you should do....
- I did this because although I was on the fence a part of me knew I would be relaxed but I did my research ahead of time. I searched for hairstylists. I posted in group forums for recommendations and many stylists responded and posted their work. That eased some of the stress. If they have a fan page many times clients would leave reviews I would read the review and sometimes reached out to the client because at the end of the day this my head and I want to make sure the person that I'm allowing to touch my head is the right one for me. Especially being I haven't had a hairstylist in years.
- Go ahead and look for some inspirational hair photos that you would love to have and make sure that hairstylist can perform. Knowing these things in advance will make it easier not only on you but the hairstylist.
- Maybe have a consultation in person or over the phone. Consultations are awesome and help relieve some stress and it also helps the stylist understand your needs and wants. That's the best time to send over those inspirational photos.
- Know what you want for your hair. Example I knew I was getting a relaxer but I made a decision of how often in between I wanted to relax my hair. Some people want to get relaxers every 4-6 weeks but because I been natural for sometime now I knew I didn't want relaxers that often. I was thinking more like 10-12 weeks for me. That was a personal preference because I didn't want my hair to be bone straight.
- Also have a say in the product used on your head. Ask questions about the process. Did you know there are relaxers out there that are more holistic? Do your research on products. Remember although the hairstylist is most times the expert you still have the power to make decisions. They're just guiding you through to make sure that things run smooth and what ever decision you make it won't be harmful to you. Well at least they are suppose to do that.
I hope these tips helps you and my story may help in someway. Remember it's all about the health of your hair. I don't believe being natural is better or being relaxed is better. I think it's per person. Find what works for you. As long as your hair is healthy that's what truly matters! That has always been my belief.